Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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