Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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