I just saw a hot homeless man
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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