sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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