3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
