P.S. I can't hear my feet
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i came on her dog
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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