Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.

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(312): View more from Illinois

i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it

Fav 92 7751 2283
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(419): View more from Ohio

Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico

Fav 18 7589 1396
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(816): View more from Missouri

Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

Fav 10 3094 1062
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(815): View more from Illinois

He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.

Fav 6 2621 2075
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.

Fav 11 2856 1613
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right

Fav 20 2804 885
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(703): View more from Virginia

Are you alive?

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I woke up under the pier.

Fav 4 1185 629
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(619): View more from California

Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!

Fav 0 30 18
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