Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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