My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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