Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
