can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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