There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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