I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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