I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
