I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
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I checked into jail on foursquare
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
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I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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