i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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