just tell him i said nine months
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
