life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize