I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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