i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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