she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
