It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
