He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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