wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize