Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
