I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
