Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
