Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
