He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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