Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
