I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Found the puke drawer
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
