i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
