I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
