Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
