Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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