Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
