No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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