McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
