at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize