yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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