I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
