Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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