Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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