This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
