Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
