Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I believe in your delicious
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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