Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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