i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
