I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
