who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
