i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
