so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
tonight lets celebrate not being married
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
