He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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