i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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