If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
whose parrot is this?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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