oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Porn is love you can see.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
