Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
