I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
