I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box