You're so nebulous sometimes
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now