Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize