I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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