I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
