No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
