I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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