oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
