i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Randomize
